An iPhone(my razors about to flip in half and im on my third one) To fix my mustang and sell it To fix my pontiac grand nothing and sell it Buy a zx3. Pay my late fee for my college loans and start the automatic debit before the 17th A few good work shirts, pants, and atleast one more pair of work shoes. Dump girlfriend(huge cash savings here)
I see about one or maybe two of these things getting done in the next two weeks =/
The more i talk to my girlfriend about this whole shes only 95%(new figure) in our relationship thing. The more i dont wanna be with her the more im like man fuck this im out but do i leave her and punish her for telling me the truth and im like well cyalatabi! Itll ruin telling the truth for her forever. I may be thinking way into it. She said she feels like im 120% in and im like well yea! Shes wondering why im upset or sad. Im like well we have been dating for two years and this is alittle heart breaking. I ask her what she wants to do and shes like i dunno i dont think there is any quick fix. She was like i wish i could go out and sleep with a few people and feel better but i cant. So wtf does she want! Why are we talking about this. Shes like i feel like its more situational i have all these feeling when im around these people shes like when i talk to howard(guy she met on a cruise 5+ years ago) i am happy after i talk to him. WTF dude. Shes like yea and i felt good when i hugged john(guy shes wanted to fuck for years cuz hes soooooooo handsome ill scratch that dudes face he wont be so pretty then)i felt *sigh*good. Im like so you know you cant put yourself in bad situations like when you cheated on me. SOOOO DONT put yourself in those situations you know youll be vunerable. shes like uhm you arent gonna tell me what to do and what not to do..NO fuck that im not one to be told what i cant do. I think like well maybe thats youre problem no one has ever told you no(single cild only her mom is around) and neither have i because im such a giver and i spoil my girlfriends. All i expect in return is love but i kinda hope they go above and beyond to please me as well and hope they dont walk all over me because its very easy to do(it always happens). I guess she gives back sometimes but most of the time i guess i feel like im left hanging…So like in May when howard(overseas crush) was going to come and STAY at her house for like 5 days and she told me well i wont be seeing you for a week i was like haha fuck that im coming over everyday. Shes like why are you so jealous and feel the need piss all over me and mark your territory. MAYBE I FEEL LIKE I CANT TRUST YOU! THINK ABOUT IT. Man this is heart breaking. What the fuck do i do?
I was really hoping to slack off today. Maybe later.
Also my gf wants to go to DC and go to a few clubs + cobalt with a few of her lesbian friends tonight. And i wanted to go earlier this week. Buttttt the more and more we talk about all these feelings shes having the less i wanna be around her. Ima be like baby im just gonna drop you off at the metro have fun.