stuff i think about

i like my job but there are a lot of things that point to the fact that it stresses me the fuck out. i bite my nails on sunday nights because i worry about what is going to happen the next day. i stress over little things during the day while at work. my sleep pattern sometimes gets fucked up during the week because i come home and fall right asleep and wake up around 10:30pm unable to go back to sleep for another few hours. i like what i do. i like the people. its just veryyyy busy and we need more help. i worry about stuff like that. make up scenarios in my head that would never happen…unless they did. i dunno. i have a review coming up and i doubt ill get a raise but i want and need one. oh well im enjoying my paid time off and ill have to take advantage of it more often to do things i like.  

speaking of money. i need more of it. ive been thinking about second jobs to have and how to make extra cash on the side to pay off debt and to have some money to play with or live off of just in case. which leads me to believe im underpaid but itd be nice to have something on the side because i fucking hate worrying about money. its so stupid. this area is so rich so you have to have money just to live. its so annoying. i hate worrying about money. im only accumulating more bills not more income. i want a job i can pick up and put down whenever. work in my spare time and do something i like or thats challenging. i might build a website. its a secret tho as to what the website would be about. 

nerding out time. so i was looking at engines online duratecs range from $250 to 1000 depending on the displacement and how many miles are on the block, what comes with it. etc etc. sooooo i want atleast a 2.3 and mostly a 2.5 because i want a wider torque band and i dont want to be searching for revs all the time like in a 2.0 i dont want to settle for a torqueless engine. i want this thing to pull no matter what gear or rpm im at. ive been reading a lot into camshafts and getting the most out of the duratec inline 4. i. just. want. to. wrench.